Shocker: Lawsuit Accuses Budweiser of Watering Down Its Beer

By
We still love you, blue beer. Photo: Budweiser

Listless teenage boys and Jennifer Lawrence alike will be dismayed to learn that lawsuits have been filed by plaintiffs in three states accusing beer giant Anheuser-Busch InBev of watering its brews down before passing them on to an unwitting drinking public. ABs customers are overcharged for watered-down beer and AB is unjustly enriched by the additional volume it can sell, reads part of one complaint filed by Thomas and Gerald Greenberg in federal court in Philadelphia. While it's currently unclear just how multiple plaintiffs came to the conclusion that Budweiser is mislabeling its beer, Bloomberg reports two more lawsuits are imminent, in Colorado and Ohio; meanwhile, the beer company, which currently controls 39 percent of the beer market in the United States, steadfastly denies such preposterous claims, adding that it routinely deploys technology that measures "alcohol content in malt beverages to within hundredths of one percent." The plaintiffs are seeking an amount in excess of $5 million in compensation and damages, apparently, because weaker beer ruined their lives. Or something. First it was America's bourbon watering it down, now it's the King of Beers? Does this mean we can expect some horrible news from Bartles & Jaymes about their wine coolers tomorrow? [Bloomberg, Earlier, Related]