Brooklyn Thief Tries and Fails to Steal 75 Pounds of Almonds

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Nuts for nuts. Photo: Caroline Arber/Corbis

A protein-deprived man swiped three 25-pound boxes of nuts from a delivery van in Williamsburg, but as he tried to run away, he dropped the boxes of almonds in the middle of the street. Maybe he needed them to build muscle. The guy ran away empty-handed, but two hours later, he crashed a car into a parked van and got caught trying to flee the scene. This is the most pathetic thing to happen to nuts since the Wonderful Pistachios Super Bowl commercial. [NYDN]