Today in Sad Cow News

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Even pasture-raised cows get the blues. Photo: iStockphoto

"We guarantee that our cows are ethically raised on sustainably grown pastures before we hang them upside down from a moving conveyor and slice their throats wide open." The fake Hank T. Norman, "Owner of Nature's Acres Ranch," who lays the realities of "humanely raised" livestock bare. [Onion]