Pity the poor Echo Park hipster. As if vintage vinyl, handlebar-mustache finger tattoos, and brand new T-shirts to convince the world they were listening to Iron Maiden in the eighties, and not Depeche Mode, weren’t expensive enough, now they’ve got fancy food and $175 rib-eye steaks overtaking their avenues. All of which is point out that non-profit arts-and-sciences collaborative Machine Project is trying to raise roughly $1,300 to buy themselves a leg of Ibérico ham for a historical celebration of 16th century Spanish explorer, Álvar Núñez Cabeza de Vaca. Sure, sounds like good, clean nerdy fun. But really. Haven’t these guys ever heard of UNICEF? And speaking of cabeza de vaca, isn’t it about time Boar’s Head achieved its so-shitty-its-cool-again level of ironic appreciation? It worked for PBR.