New York City's bar scene has come to resemble a great big rye-soaked mustache of late, replete with dim taverns and solemn, constant nods to the classic cocktail, which is probably why the owners of Minus5 Ice Bar — inside of which everything is made with ice and one can take shots from a frozen Venus de Milo whose mammary ducts have been replaced with luges — have decided to open up in midtown. Come November, expect ladies in bikinis wearing cartoonish penguin heads who serve mixed drinks such as Holly Madison’s Holly Mad-ICE-on, Laura Croft’s Hypnoti-School Girl, and Carrot Top’s Heat Miser. Yes, those first two are made with Skyy Vodka, and yes, the Heat Miser is garnished with a carrot. That carrot, however, is not pickled with star anise by a man with tattoos in Gowanus. It's just a carrot.
Vodka is king at Minus5 Ice Bar's Las Vegas locations. Vodka and, obviously, ice: The bar, walls, and chairs are made from "100% pure Canadian ice," and drinking glasses are crafted from "NZ artesian water." Elsewhere, carved sculptures dazzle the eye and deliver more vodka to customers, changing the meaning of "shots on the house."
Taking a cue from theme-park economics, patrons who have their photo taken during any debauchery are given the opportunity to buy souvenir prints commemorating the time they acted out a Santa's-helper fantasy or were spanked by an ice queen wearing a husky hat while doing shots of Hpnotiq. Hopefully, this place has bottle service. Minus5 Ice Bar is scheduled to open this November inside the Hilton Hotel New York in midtown at 1335 Avenue of the Americas. Bundle up now, while you still can.