Man Beats Another Man With Sausage Links

What a brat!
What a brat!

And here we thought that vegetables were lethal! But alas, turnips and squash look downright wimpy next to a turgid link of sausage, especially when that turgid sausage is wielded by a would-be criminal in need of a bicycle.

A Holbrook man is in custody after police say he attacked and robbed a bicyclist using stolen sausage links and a wrench. The victim was riding his bike when the culprit “came up to him and started swinging sausage links at him,” completely unprovoked. The man then threw stolen meat, bread, and cheese into a nearby barrel and smashed the victim with a wrench, finally making off with his bicycle.

The sausage was thought to be stolen from a sausage stand at the Brockton Fairgrounds. Since it was easy to link him to the crime, the culprit has been charged with assault with a deadly weapon.

Brockton Police: Holbrook Man Charged in Attack Using Sausage Links and Wrench [Patriot Ledger]

Related: Lethal Vegetables!