Australian Mayonnaise Bandits on the Loose

A mere spoonful makes prison seem worthwhile.
A mere spoonful makes prison seem worthwhile. Photo: iStockphoto

From the land down under comes this troubling nugget of news: Aussie thieves have made off with a whopping 93 pounds of ill-gotten mayonnaise, which they purloined from a refrigerated warehouse near the southern city of Adelaide. The condiment criminals divided and conquered, absconding with two separate tubs of the stuff. Police sprung quickly to action, urging anyone who knows about people making large batches of coleslaw or potato salad to notify authorities immediately. Though we fear that the burglars could be up to something far more nefarious than concocting big-batch cookout fare. After all, isn’t it wintertime over there? [Courier-Mail]