Jerry Seinfeld Not in Favor of Soda Ban, Prefers ‘Early Death’

Dreaming of real Coke and Orange Crush.
Dreaming of real Coke and Orange Crush. Photo: Craig Barritt

Last night at the 2012 Baby Buggy Bedtime Bash, Grub Street caught up with Jerry Seinfeld about all things quenching and cavity-begging. A big fan of “the real-sugar Coke” as a kid and the man who once said “Breaking up is like knocking over a Coke machine. You can’t do it in one push,” his soda nostalgia still lives somewhere deep inside, hopefully in a place he can floss. “I don’t think I’m in favor,” he told us in private, while nutritious wife Jessica Seinfeld strolled the red carpet. But wait. It’s not just for the taste of it …

How do you feel about Bloomberg’s push to ban soda?
I don’t think I’m in favor. I’m in favor of continuing the accelerated Darwinian process of early death and weeding out most of the population through sugary drinks.

Do you have a family policy for sodas?
Oh, yeah, yeah. My kids haven’t had that many sodas. They don’t really know what it is … When I was a kid, it was nothing but.

Did you have a favorite soda as a kid?
Well, we had the real-sugar coke. And that was pretty solid. Also Orange Crush was great. Dr. Pepper, great.

All classics.
Yeah. I say, “Fatten them up, kill them off, and move them out.” That would be my philosophy.