Remember when pizza places were interested in the public good? They used to offer valuable Noid-avoiding advice and sell two pizzas for the price of one. Those days are over, friends. Yesterday, lobbyists for the country’s biggest pizza chains (most notably Domino’s) tossed their weight around on Capitol Hill in an effort to wiggle out of proposed nutritional guidelines that would force any chain with more than twenty locations to list calorie counts.
Making an appeal to the national food police, the pizza industry thinks it deserves special treatment as an exception to the calorie counts, CBS reports. Pizza, you see, is just too darn cumbersome for calorie counts. All those topping combinations! Who could possibly put calorie counts on all that?!
A Domino’s spokesperson even did some torturous math: "There are 34 million different ways that you can make a pizza … Can’t really calorie label that on a board." Oh, snap! But we’re calling foul, as Chipotle already showed the country how this numbers game can be mastered by posting a range of potential calories any of their given burrito or burrito bowls may carry.
Sounds like the pizza chains’ crusts aren’t the only things stuffed full of bullshit.