New Cans Make ‘Shotgunning’ Easier

Down the hatch!
Down the hatch! Photo: SABMiller

Here’s some good news for folks out there with a propensity for binge drinking: Some genius at SABMiller and Molson Coors Brewing (a.k.a. MillerCoors) came up with a way to streamline the consumption of Miller Lite. They’re calling it the “Punch Top Can.” The official word from MillerCoors is that this breakthrough in beer-can technology is designed to increase airflow and reduce “glug” to facilitate a smoother pour. But anyone who’s ever spent time at college fraternity parties, Jets games, or Phish shows will surely recognize it as an air hole that makes shotgunning beers possible. The only difference really is, you no longer need a knife or awl to pierce the can. How’s that for drinking responsibly?

According to the marketing and PR blather, testing showed that drinkers preferred the Punch Top Can three-to-one over standard beer cans, and that they expect “everyone will have a blast exploring different ways to open it.” We’re guessing these cans will have a shelf life shorter than Four Loko before all its twitchy additives were removed. And surely it’s going to be only a matter of days before AB InBev rolls out a Funnel Can.

Miller Lite Wants to Know: How Will You Punch It? [PR Newswire]