Cupcake ATM Coming, As Prophesied As Sign of Apocalypse


So there was this nation, we’ll call it America, where the connection to food had gotten so tenuous that people actually lived off of packaged food out of vending machines. Then there was this movement to get back to eating naturally made foods, which they called “artisanal.” Then “artisanal” food spread to lots of other things, like cupcakes. And now a cupcake company called Sprinkles, which has a location at 50 E. Walton, is going to start selling artisanal cupcakes out of “cupcake ATMs,” which is to say, vending machines, which look like they were designed by Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds! and where they will sell for $4.00 and be sold to drunken college girls at 2 a.m. And then the earth will split apart and we will all be sucked into the abyss. Look for the cupcakealypse this summer. [HuffPo]