Heart Attack Grill Customer Goes Into Cardiac Arrest; Jamie Oliver Strikes Gold

• A customer eating a Triple Bypass Burger at a Las Vegas Heart Attack Grill location went into — you guessed it — cardiac arrest. [Daily Mail UK]

• As if we needed more proof that Jamie Oliver has a Midas touch: More than £1 million worth of goods — including jewels, gold, and original Joy Division recordings — were found in the basement of his new restaurant, which is located in an old bank. [Daily Mail UK]

• A North Carolina preschool “forced a child to eat a school lunch and billed the parent” after it deemed the 4-year-old’s lunch unhealthy. Naturally, Rush Limbaugh has stepped in and blamed Michelle Obama. [Greeley Gazette]

• Vladimir Putin balls so hard: Dude’s got his own line of vodka. It’s called “Kremlin Award.” [NYP]

• More Twinkie trouble: If a bankruptcy judge approves Hostess Brands’ plans to cut workers’ health care and pensions, union members will go on strike. [USAT]

• Kellogg’s is about to buy Pringles from Procter & Gamble for $2.7 billion. That’s a lot of pops. [WSJ]