City To Let Gas Stations Inspect Their Own Slim Jims; Soccer, Brought To You By Oatmeal

• The City of Chicago is proposing to let “low-risk” vendors— which they consider to be places like gas stations that only sell prepackaged food and drinks— certify themselves and thus relieve some of the burden on overworked health inspectors. Because nothing’s cleaner than a gas station kwik-e mart. [Sun-Times]

• After spending a year tragically playing soccer in plain jerseys, the Chicago Fire have signed a three-year sponsorship deal with Quaker Oats. [Tribune]

• It isn’t junk food in schools that’s making kids fat — it’s junk food at home. Does this mean the candy vending machines get to come back? [NYDN]

• Because it’s been at least a week since we’ve offered you a 2012 trend forecast, here’s USA Today’s. The crystal ball says gourmet salt, Korean food, and seaweed will all have a moment. [Your Life/USAT]

• Yuengling, the beer of choice for the Grub Street bowling team, is now the U.S.’s largest suds maker. [WBUR]

• In some cultures, eating with your hands is polite and the norm, and Westerners are finally catching on (hint: don’t use your left hand). [NYT]