What a week for weird food news. We saw vending machine meat, a $43 butter spreader, and lollipops infected with the chicken pox virus on purpose. But that's not all! For a look at what you might have missed, check out the James Weird Awards, straight ahead.
• Not content to imbibe alcohol strictly by mouth — you know, the proper way — America's misguided youth have turned to vodka-soaked tampons and rectal beer bongs to get their kicks. Props for creativity? [Eater]
• Snokist Growers, a school lunch supplier based in Washington state, is the target of a federal investigation after FDA officials cited numerous gross-sounding health violations spotted during an inspection of their production facilities. Highlights from the list of offenses include the repackaging of moldy applesauce; a lack of hand-washing facilities in the production area; and the observance of fruit flies (dead and alive), bird feathers, and bird feces in the facility. [HuffPo]
• Remember when we told you about the British taxidermist who lives off a diet of roadkill? Well, we found him a new friend! A taxidermist in England has discovered the appeal of roadkill meat after years of using the hides of dead animals found on the side of the road to make jewelry. She chalks her new cravings up to her pregnancy. "I would like to try fox and badger," she said, "but they're never in good enough condition to eat; although I have used them for my artwork." [NYDN]
• A terrified deer crashed through a window at a Taco Mac in Georgia, shocking its equally terrified staff and customers. The buck lost an antler in a tussle with the fence outside the restaurant and made his escape before he could be apprehended. [HuffPo]
• The latest trend in thievery: siphoning used restaurant grease from barrels set aside in alleyways (without asking!) to sell on the bio-fuels market, where a gallon can fetch over $3. [NPR]
• A former sous-chef at a Morton's Steakhouse is seeking over $15,000 in a lawsuit again the chain, in which he accuses the company of encouraging an environment of "sexual harassment and food impunity." The primary target of the chef's allegations is a fellow cook who allegedly stuffed asparagus stalks down his pants before serving them to a customer. [HuffPo]