Here’s a way to shut up all your pretentious foodie friends and upstage all of your favorite chefs: buy a gigantic white truffle with your entire life savings (or at least half a year’s rent). Urbani Truffles tells Grub Street that they’re in possession of “the largest White Truffle to hit here in quite a bit,” and they’d like civilians to have a shot at it rather than auction it off at the truffle festival in Alba. (Boring!) Mike Rojas tells us: “I have yet to let the chefs here know about it, but I thought we could still open it up to the public too.” The starting price is $13K, and Rojas wants a done deal by Sunday night. E-mail email@example.com for all your truffle-shaving, food-porny fantasies to come true.