Heartbreak

The Red Sox Collapsed, and So Should You!

We plan to leave work at lunchtime and never return.
We plan to leave work at lunchtime and never return. Photo: istockphoto

Last night was painful. The Red Sox collapsed. Fortunately, there are plenty of fine drinking establishments in the shadow of Fenway Park where you can drown your sorrows and possibly collapse, too! Here are a few ideas to help blunt your disappointment, if only for a little while. After all, the Sox did shots of Jack Daniel’s before Game 6 back in 2004. So why shouldn’t we have a little bit of fun? This year, we’ve actually earned it!

At Eastern Standard, just around the corner from the Green Monster, we recommend a few chugs of Don’s Zombie. This is one of ES’s stiffest drinks, made with five rums, lime, cinnamon, falernum and absinthe. You won’t remember last night after a few sips. You won’t remember anything, really. It’s $16, but it’s worth it. A $10 single Old-Fashioned might also do the job. Ask for it off-menu. It’s over-proof bourbon, bitters and a spoon full of sugar. Which doesn’t make the loss any easier to swallow, but we’ll raise a glass anyway.

Then we’ll stagger next door to Island Creek Oyster Bar, where they’re pouring something called a Snug Harbor Smash: crushed lime, sweet rich demerara and ICOB’s four-rum blend. Not enough runs; plenty of rums.

Meanwhile, Jerry Remy’s up the street just opened their roof deck (on offer ‘til mid-October). Today’s a perfect opportunity to sit crying in the mist. Here, they serve a $12 Beckett Bowl (served in a “bucket” designed for sharing), with frozen libations like Margaritas, Strawberry Daiquiri, Pina Colada, and Blueberry Lemonade.

And at sleek sushi sanctuary Basho, there’s a new, aptly named drink called Kiwi Envy: Shochu Japanese vodka with fresh kiwi puree and a touch of despair Midori.

Finally, just around the corner, Citizen Public is now home to a whiskey club, where regular drinkers receive a whiskey card and earn prizes based on how many drinks they down. Why not get started today? Now that the Sox are dead, we all need something to be passionate about. A new goal. A new hobby. Until we wake up tomorrow morning, that is.

The Red Sox Collapsed, and So Should You!