The James Weird Awards: McCops, Clumsy Beer Thieves, and Violent Doughnut Salesmen
What an informative week! We learned that if something doesn't have a brain, you should eat it; that if you ever eat a sardine sandwich at work, everyone will hate you forever; and that Burger King can be kind of gross. Shockers, all! Yet there's still so much more to learn, and the James Weird Awards will teach it all to you.
• Two Pennsylvania newlyweds were arrested when they were caught stealing more than $1,000 in groceries just days after their wedding. The couple said the loot was for their wedding reception that afternoon. [WP]
• Some amazing dog named Honey Bun is suspected to have eaten $10,000 worth of goods from a jewelry store in Georgia. Sounds like the perfect wedding present for a certain married couple in Pennsylvania we know! [Fox News]
• Undercover authorities in Greece arrested "three aggressive doughnut sellers," central players in the the region's apparently violent pastry. The shadowy pastry salesmen had been stashing their product in an "abandoned hotel that was open to the elements and used by bathers as a toilet." [AP via Wauwatosa Now]
• A Mississippi man took a trip up to his home state of Massachusetts and brought back with him 150 pizzas, totaling $1,200. The pizza-loving traveler says this is all part of an annual tradition of his — his tasty, tasty annual tradition. [AP via ABC News]
• A suspect who was filmed tripping on his own pants while stealing 36 beers from a Florida convenience store nearly four months ago was finally caught by authorities. The saggy-trousered man was charged only with petit theft, probably because all of his beer ended up spilling on the ground. [MSNBC]