Apartment brokers do the damndest things: We’re currently looking for a one-bedroom apartment downtown (know of anything? E-mail us!) and recently saw a listing that said almost nothing about the apartment but chirped, “Dine at Wo Hops!” First of all, we’ve bought at least five T-shirts from Wo Hop (as it's correctly spelled), but we’re not sure we’d pay $2,000 a month for the privilege of “dining” there ($1,800, maybe). Either way, this apartment complex, Lex Lofts, has taken the whole “steps to all your favorite bars and restaurants!” thing to another level by putting a giant placard on the sidewalk advertising its proximity to Dos Caminos, Rodeo Bar, and — oh yes, our favorite place in the world — Tonic East. That’s right: no photos of apartment interiors or anything, just shots of these highly coveted neighborhood institutions. (In actuality, the building in question is located in Curry Hill — why not hype Chennai Garden or something? Decent South Indian food is pretty hard to find in this town!) Anyway, if you want to “indulge yourself” by being stumbling-in-heels distance from Tonic East, you now know where to live. Studios are $2,600 and one-bedrooms are are $3,800, so have daddy’s checkbook handy, mmkay?