The restaurant world faced a variety of unsavory characters this week: sleazy gropers, NFL players, Andy Dick. That was hardly the end of it, though, and the James Weird Awards has the scoop on the rest of the week's strange food news.
• A City of London restaurant started offering customers slippers due to repeated noise complaints from its neighbor, the Lord Mayor. "By doing this, we hope a well-rested Mayor — to our knowledge the only resident close by, in a decidedly non-residential area — might continue to promote businesses in the City," explained a snarky sign in the lobby. [City A.M.]
• According to Vanity Fair, Michael Jackson, Elizabeth Taylor, and Marlon Brando took a fast-food-fueled road trip out of Manhattan after 9/11. The carpooling celebrities stopped at "nearly every KFC and Burger King they passed," reportedly at Brando's insistence. [VF]
• Employees at a Connecticut Dairy Queen showed up to work one morning and found a mysterious mountain of tires behind the restaurant. There were about 2,500 tires in the pile, and the previous night's staff say they "don't remember them being there" when they left. Maybe it was one customer's way of saying the chicken was too rubbery? [Norwich Bulletin]
• A medium-octane car chase in Florida took a detour when the driver, being pursued by police, decided to get lunch at a McDonald's drive-through. Officers failed to apprehend the woman as she ordered and paid for her food. The chase resumed when the hungry scofflaw received her meal and sped away. [Orlando Sun-Sentinel]
• Matt Lauer interrupted a Today show cooking segment to ask Mark Bittman why asparagus makes urine smell so strong. He was never answered. [Today]
• A prison inmate in Buffalo lost a tooth while breaking up a fight between two corrections officers who came to blows over a bag of potato chips. The inmate says he intervened because "he likes both officers and didn't want them to lose their jobs." [Buffalo News]