Hopefully eating out during the long weekend won't involve being attacked by grenades, swords, and city councilmen. But judging by all the other strange food news in this week's James Weird Awards, things aren't getting any better out there.
• The dairy community was turned upside down this week when it was revealed that Laurel Gordon, the Dairy Ambassador of Grays Harbor County in Washington state, is lactose intolerant. She's still running to become the statewide dairy ambassador, despite the controversy. [Seattle Weekly]
• A customer at a Seattle-area Chinese restaurant stabbed a man with a fork because he "was angry with the victim for dancing with a woman." The stabee suffered multiple fork wounds but is in good condition. [Seattle Times]
• A man was apprehended at Washington's Dulles International Airport for attempting to smuggle 90 pounds of sheep meat into the country. Customs officials became suspicious when the man, after being asked if he was carrying any foreign meat, said "yes." [MSNBC]
• Should've ordered delivery: Three patrons at Smokey Bones restaurant in Orlando got injured when a customer in the foyer accidentally shot off his gun. [Miami Herald]
• A Pennsylvania woman is in trouble after feeding a 12-year-old girl she was babysitting toast covered in marijuana-laced margarine. She told the girl that the spread was actually "parsley butter," but the ruse came to an end when cops found her drugs stashed in a tub of, yep, I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. [AP]