Subway Plans to Spread Its Sesame Seeds All Over Brooklyn

Photo: Daniel Maurer

Hey, Brooklyn? Those fancy new coffee bars Subway is opening? You might just be getting one. Last year we made a discovery as nauseating as the chain’s patented “rotten butthole” odor: There are more Subway sandwich shops in New York City than there are subway stops. (Fun fact: Subway’s BMT sandwich originally stood for Brooklyn Manhattan Transit — it now stands for Biggest, Meatiest, Tastiest.) Now the Post shares some news that’s harder to swallow than a foot of stale bread stuffed with limp lettuce: “We are going full tilt on expanding in Brooklyn,” says Satan’s Subway’s Brooklyn development agent. What does “full tilt” mean? Well, they’re aiming to open 100 stores by 2012, and then, says this scary man, “There will be a new goal for 2015.” And that goal will be putting a Subway on top of Grand Army Plaza, blasting bread funk all over the Greenmarket, and just laughing at you, Brooklyn — just laughing at you.

Subway Series [NYP]