Umami’s Ruskie Is Coming!

The Ruskie (The Exporting Raymond Burger)
The Ruskie (The Exporting Raymond Burger) Photo: Umami

Starting today, Umami Burger unleashes a new burger designed by owner Adam Fleischman to help plug the upcoming film Exporting Raymond, a documentary about Everybody Loves Raymond’s creator as he attempts to bring a version of the show to Russia. The new burger is called The Ruskie and is a clever arrangement of melted cabbage, red beet cheese, and mustard seed caviar on a beef patty. Sounds pretty good! But could something be missing from the mix to make this a truly essential Russian eating experience?

Of course! Where’s the sour cream? Doesn’t Umami know real Russians put this stuff on everything they eat? EVERYthing. They dip their blinis and pelmenis in it, slather it on toast and boiled potatoes, stick it in soups, and even eat it straight mixed with a little sugar in the morning. Our Russian sources even swear that they put it on their bodies when they’re sunburned. Anyway, it’s not too late to whip up a sour cream aioli for this one, Mr. Fleischman! You can even use our Strip Search if you want to see how Russians do things in Hollywood.