The James Weird Awards: Goldfish Racing, Bungled Burglars, and a Burger-Snatching Tornado

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Viagra beer? Check. Radioactive lobster? You bet. Eccentric activist promising to vomit on food trailers? And how! But there's more where that came from, and the weekly James Weird Awards has it all.

A bar in Washington state is shutting down its weekly goldfish races owing to complaints from protestors. The fish would compete by swimming across eight-foot troughs, and human competitors would "guide the fish with squirt bottles." The practice has been replaced with beer pong. [AP]

A wanted burglar in Boston was found stuck in the restaurant he's accused of burgling. The man was discovered "wedged between a floorboard and a freezer." Police freed him and then took him into custody. [UPI]

A tornado in Mississippi stole a hamburger right out of a man's hands, just like in the cartoons. [Vulture]

A fake health inspector calling a restaurant in Iowa was caught by a real health inspector who was there at the time. A server yelled that the state health department was on the phone asking for a "deposit." The actual inspector jumped on the line, reported the fraud to police, and then possibly finished inspecting the restaurant? [Daily Reporter]