Today, the Daily News is reporting that Brian Smith, the screenwriter responsible for Alien Express, is closing out of his copy of Final Draft in order to open Ample Hills Creamery, an ice-cream parlor that he says will be the first in the city to make its own ice-cream base (the city is kind of afraid of undercooked eggs, so it’s a huge hassle to get the necessary permits to make ice cream, which kinda of requires them). Good for him! But, dude! The flavors you’re touting are maple-bacon, beer with chocolate-covered pretzels, and cereal milk? All things we’ve seen before!
You’re a science-fiction writer! You wrote a movie about a train full of alien creatures! You can definitely do better than just stealing the idea for cereal milk from Christina Tosi.
Here are, like, five flavors that we came up with right now, just off the top of our head: Easter Bunny (for next year — chocolate ice cream studded with jelly beans); Summer in Salerno (grapefruit with a Campari swirl); Cold-Brew (coffee ice cream [use Stumptown coffee or whatever] studded with chunks of these single-origin coffee bars); Hot Sauce Committee (beer ice cream with Mast Brothers chocolate chunks and a swirl of Cholula); and, duh, Alien Ice Cream (green pistachio ice cream studded with chunks of these spacey-looking gummies).
And we bet we’re just scratching the surface: Feel free to help Smith out in the comments with your own flavor ideas!