The James Weird Awards: Thin Mint Porn, Bikini Brawls, and Yet Another Fugitive Snake

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It's like Armageddon out there: Venomous snakes are gallivanting about New York, states are warring over whoopie pies, and people are paying money to be treated like Charlie Sheen. And as the weekly James Weird Awards will demonstrate, things are only getting crazier.

In what's been a big week for rogue snakes, a California restaurant found a snake of their own hiding in the men's restroom. Hopefully the Bronx Zoo's Shawsnake is doing something a bit more glamorous than that. [San Jose Mercury News]

A Seattle man tried to drink a can of Monster Energy Drink but instead gulped a dead mouse. "I backwashed it, and debris and gunk went in my mouth," he said. "I looked in the can and saw the tip of the tail." He's now suing the beverage manufacturer. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

A Florida Burger King made headlines after a bikini-clad rioter was filmed trashing the restaurant because her fast food was taking too long. Spring break! [MSNBC]

In honor of Girl Scout Cookie season entering full swing, one Internet resident has created a gallery of odd but SFW "Thin Mint porn." [BuzzFeed]

A Pennsylvania man went to a grocery store and "stuffed a bag of frozen shrimp down his pants" in a botched attempt to steal the seafood. When confronted by security, the crustacean-crotched man attacked a guard before getting arrested for robbery and assault.[AP]

A stripper in Connecticut got so fed up with a patron who kept snapping photographs of her routine, she struck a man in the face with a beer mug. The man she hit, however, wasn't the photographer she mistakenly attacked an innocent club-goer. [AOL News]

Afraid people will doze off at your funeral? A Texas funeral home has preempted Massachusetts by also becoming a Starbucks-licensed coffee shop, which should be a convenience for those who like their coffee really, really dark. [AOL News]

A more lively Starbucks in Boston was hit up by a mysterious man who made it rain money in the caf. The unidentified benefactor walked in, shouted "I'm rich!" three times, and threw a hundred one-dollar bills into the air before walking out without explanation. [Urlesque]