Today Keith Kelly is floating the rumor that Gwyneth Paltrow might soon be starting her own food magazine. As such, we’ve now spent the morning mulling this idea around in our heads. First off, it’s probably never going to actually be a reality. And weirder things have happened, we suppose. But a Gwyneth Paltrow food magazine? Yet the more we’ve been thinking about it, the more it seems like the idea could work. Hey, just because we’d never read the thing — and let’s be really clear: We’d never read the thing — doesn’t mean other people wouldn’t. Our case for it, below.
1. Readers would buy the hell out the thing: Regardless of your own personal feelings regarding Gwyneth, it’s no secret that two big things sell magazines — celebrities and recipes. This would clearly have a bunch of both.
2. Advertisers would also buy the hell out of the thing: Are you a maker of an organic/natural/luxury/homeopathic/bio-dynamic lifestyle product? Do you want said product to be associated with big-time movie star and Oscar winner Gwyneth Paltrow? You do? Good. All you gotta do is buy a spread in the March issue.
4. The heartland is warming up to her: A big concern with a project like like this could be, “Will Gwyneth’s urbane, haughty lifestyle choices appeal to Real America?” But roles in movies like Country Strong and Iron Man, not to mention her appearances on the Grammys and the Country Music Awards, were clearly designed to endear her to exactly that crowd. So she’s got her cowboy-boot-clad foot in that door, is what we’re saying.
5. She’d be able to promote the bejesus out of it: Are you a producer on Today, or The Tonight Show, or any other of a zillion talk shows that millions of people watch? Are you looking to put together a “fun” food segment for that show? You could have Adam Rapoport on. Or Nathan Myhrvold could put together some pea butter. Or maybe Bobby Flay can do it if he’s available. Or you can have movie star Gwyneth Paltrow. No offense to the other guys, but that producer is going to choose movie star Gwyneth Paltrow.
6. It’d inevitably be part of a larger brand: Like it’d be so hard to turn the GOOP newsletter into a magazine, or an app, or a TV show? It would not be hard. And that brand synergy would help all things GOOP-related succeed.
7. Single-celeb mags are definitely a thing: Oprah’s obviously got O, Jamie Oliver’s got Jamie in the U.K., and even Sandra Lee and Paula Deen have their own magazines. Again: We don’t read any of them, but plenty of other people do. If Rachael Ray can make one work, it’s a safe bet Gwyneth could.
8. Tina Fey would read it: Fey has already come out on the side of Team Gwyneth, and she loves to talk food, so if the magazine became a reality you could probably count on a joke or two about it showing up on 30 Rock.
9. Girl is pretty connected: Gwyneth’s friends are all people in high places, so guests aplenty would pop up in the pages of GOOP Monthly (or whatever it ends up being called). Story possibilities: Chris Martin’s picks for where he likes to eat while on tour around the world. A Mario Batali feast-of-the-seven-fishes menu for the December issue. Gwyneth and mommy Blythe Danner do a Sunday supper or something. She’d probably even be able to get Kate Middleton to do a story.
10. Huge publishing companies might already be interested: Kelly hears that Hearst “is intrigued” by the idea. (The company says that’s not true, but then, what else are they going to say?) We’ve personally always thought of Gywneth as more of a Condé Nast kind of girl, but since David Carey, the president of Hearst’s magazine division, is a former Condé guy himself, that could be a good match.
Also, she named one of her kids Apple, which isn’t so much a reason why this food-magazine idea could work, but is a good peg for a listicle about other food-related kids’ names. We’ve always thought “Hamburger” as a first name would have a kind of regal ring to it.