These days, it seems like everyone out there is eating dog food, drinking horse semen, and munching insects. But is that really enough? Of course not — it takes more than that to impress the James Weird Awards, your weekly rundown of the stranger side of food.
• A grown woman in Florida gave her roommate “a savage beatdown” over a box of Girl Scout cookies. After noticing that her Thin Mints had been eaten, she confronted her roommate, who offered to pay for the cookies. Not willing to negotiate, the woman bit her in the breast and beat her with a board and a sign from the street. [ABC 7]
• In Westchester, police arrested a group of six people who they say stole donated food from a local food bank. Among those being charged: 90-year-old Florence D’Imperio, the head of the area’s Meals on Wheels program. Feel free to make your own “getaway car” joke. [CBS]
• Two men in Louisiana were arrested for selling marijuana from an ice-cream truck. The sheriff’s report “did not indicate whether the pair were also selling ice cream from the truck.” [WWL]
• Apparently inspired by SNL’s Schmitts Gay, a Mexican brewery has introduced a new line of “gay beer.” They believe that their “artisan honey-ales” will be so popular with the LGBT community that drinkers will wear the beer’s label “as a symbol of pride.” [CNN]
• British people can’t pronounce their food, a new survey reveals. When ordering over the phone, Britons were prone to ask for dishes like “kung fu chicken” (kung pao chicken), “porn crackers” (prawn crackers), and “deep-fried crispy man tongue” (deep-fried crispy wonton). [Reuters]
• A Los Angeles manufacturer is having trouble getting its Zombie Jerky brand approved by the USDA. “Designed specifically for zombies and the people who love them,” the green snack is made from “parts of zombie flesh,” according to the label. The USDA was not amused and requested the wording be changed. [AOL News]
• A museum in England has been given what turns out to be the world’s oldest wedding cake. Baked in 1898, the cake remains intact save for a crack, which it earned from a bomb attack during World War II. [Times of India]
• A naked man in Florida was caught on-camera stealing sausages from a local retirement home. Wearing nothing but his tattoos, the burglar is suspected to have taken a shower mid-robbery. “When you live here you don’t get a whole lot of excitement,” said one resident. “So this is great.” [Daily Mail UK]
• An Oklahoma City man has been stealing toilet parts from the restrooms of local restaurants. Surveillance footage shows the thief stealing electronic toilet flushers from Applebee’s, Taco Bell, Golden Corral, and other joints. “You can’t flush the toilet,” said one customer. “That’s embarrassing and odd.” [KOCO]
• A Louisiana man abandoned three children at Burger King to drink wine at home. The man said he just “figured someone picked them up.” The kids were found wandering around, and the man has been charged with criminal abandonment. [Vermilion Today]
• In space, no one can hear you … burp. An Australian brewery is currently testing what it hopes to be the first beer in outer space, designed with the burgeoning space-tourism industry in mind. Let us know what it’s like to be drunk in space, eccentric millionaires! [National Geographic]
