The James Weird Awards: Failed Urine Attack and Nipple-Twisting Justice

By

Mickey D's has certainly enjoyed its share of headlines this week. Flouting conventional wisdom, a woman who's been eating a McDonald's cheeseburger ever day for over twenty years managed to turn 100. Less lucky was Ronald McDonald, who was brutally executed in a reign of fast-food terror. But perhaps love conquers all in the end: McDonald's in Hong Kong has officially kicked off its McWeddings service. The Golden Arches didn't have a monopoly on crazy, though. More oddities from the world of food, straight ahead.

Four men were arrested after robbing a Miami high school of a computer, an iPod headset, and "two trays of French toast." "It's ridiculous. Why would you want to steal French toast?" remarked one incredulous student. His best guess? "Those guys had nothing better to do." [WSVN 7]

A brawl erupted at a Chicago restaurant when a man "tried to dump urine on the person at the counter" and attempted to set the place on fire. When local media arrived the next day, so did the failed arsonist. He "apologized for his behavior," and the owner told him not to come back. [WGN]

A Denny's customer in Los Angeles was filmed eating his napkin. Presumably drunk, he dined on the napkin using a fork and knife, like a gentleman. [Metro UK]

The waiter at the Michelin-starred restaurant whose nipple was twisted at work was rewarded £21,500 by a London tribunal. It was also determined that his boss, who had "asked [his employee] if he was a virgin, before singing the Madonna song 'Like A Virgin' to him," was responsible for sexual harassment. [Express UK]

An unfortunate criminal who probably doesn't follow the news stole 35 cases of frozen meat from a Taco Bell in Georgia. Our sympathies go out to the thief. [Athens Banner-Herald]

Law and an order of fries? The Escambia County Sheriff's Office in Florida is using the mug shot of a KFC Double Down sandwich as the default image in its new criminal database. [NPR]

A prank caller has been calling restaurants and hotels in Vancouver and convincing people to activate the sprinkler systems, causing major damage. Both employees and customers have fallen for the prank. Police are working to trace the calls, which they believe are the work of an American. [Vancouver Sun]

Four teenage employees of a Pittsburgh Qdoba staged a robbery after learning one of them was about to get fired. They helped themselves to $1,300, ransacked the restaurant, and threw a rock through its window before leaving for the night, but were eventually apprehended. [CBS News]

A New Hampshire diner has been serving customers "a cup of snow" with every meal. The unusual move is intended to "cheer up people who are grumpy about all the snow" this winter. [Eagle-Tribune]