Why? Because it only exists "hypothetically," according to an employee who would merely say that his name was Laurence. Should this thing actually be real — and we think it is, we just made a reservation (for April!) — it’s one of the most exclusive tables in town, with just one seating a week for two people. A $50 cash "donation" entitles you to all the food and alcohol you can consume ("there are no dietary restrictions, and you must drink," warns Laurence), at a table set up in the Brooklyn Kitchen shop area, across from the meat counter.
Brunch is served Saturdays only, at 11:30 a.m., and the weekly changing menu might include anywhere from four to twelve courses. Last week’s spread featured a mint-chocolate-coffee milkshake martini, eggnog with granola, a beef-bacon sandwich, a "diet" poutine (made with baked fries), and a platter offering blood sausages, kielbasa, and five other housemade wieners, among other dishes. If this sounds appealing, better get cracking on that reservation (which can be made by calling the Meat Hook and asking for Laurence) — at this point the first available is May 7.