New York Times book critic Dwight Garner pulls precisely zero punches in his gleefully devastating review of Colman Andrews's biography of Ferran Adrià, Ferran, a book he says is so fawning and hagiographic that it "lays on the cream sauce with a heavy hand." Yes, it's a terrific piece of balls-out criticism — and the paragraph where Garner tears into Adrià himself is a master class in paralepsis — but oh, the zingers! "Reading “Ferran” is like being waterboarded with truffle oil," writes Garner. Elsewhere: "Good luck getting a reservation at his restaurant ... Good luck, too, wading through more than 50 pages of 'Ferran.' Mr. Andrews's awestruck observations are an appetite suppressant." You can test your mettle against the first nine pages, which the Times helpfully includes as a PDF excerpt. Feel free to report back with your page count (and related thoughts) in the comments.
Most Viewed Stories
Here Are 2016’s James Beard Restaurant and Chef Award Winners
Fairway Market Officially Files for Bankruptcy
Will Chickpea Water Be the Next Kale?
15 Chefs on Their Favorite Knife
Oxford Student Refuses to Tip Server Because She’s White
Latest News from Grub StreetSupreme Court Won’t Stand in the Way of Seattle’s $15 Minimum Wage
Fast-food franchisees had claimed the law unfairly treats them as large corporations.Congress Introduced a Bill to Keep Journalists From Snooping Around Big Food
It's industry lobbyists' response to the exposé over vegan mayo.A Farming Cartoonist Was Fired for Joking About Big Agriculture
Highly paid CEOs don’t have a sense of humor.Why This Leading London Chef Feels Energized by New York Kitchens
Rochelle Canteen's Margot Henderson is cooking in New York this week.Oxford Student Refuses to Tip Server Because She’s White
He said he was "unable to stop smiling" after she cried "typical white tears."Girl Finds Razor Blade in Her Soda at Wendy’s
It was in a cup for safe keeping, and an employee mistakenly grabbed it.15 Chefs on Their Favorite Knife
Carbon-steel slicers, poultry shears, and sashimi knives picked by the hottest names in the restaurant scene.Fairway Market Officially Files for Bankruptcy
The company says all of its stores will stay open for the time being.Here Are 2016’s James Beard Restaurant and Chef Award Winners
Jonathan Waxman, Eleven Madison Park, Suzanne Goin, and many more.FBI Looking for Man Who Sprinkled ‘Unknown Liquid Substance’ Around Whole Foods
The store had to dump everything on its prepared food bars.
"We live in the rough, tough mountainous areas and need energy and power to fight against the enemy."Grumpy Del Taco Manager Fired After Not Understanding How Easy It Is to Post a Video Online
Famous last words to anyone with a camera: "Where you gonna post it? YouTube?"Will Chickpea Water Be the Next Kale?
Chefs and condiment companies alike are excited by the newfound culinary properties of an ingredient people have literally been pouring down the drain for years.Tony Danza’s Side Hustle Is Selling Mozzarella
He often works the cash register at Little Italy's Alleva Dairy.Starbucks Sued for Putting ‘Too Much’ Ice in Its Drinks
A $5 million lawsuit claims the coffee chain rips off customers.This Triple-Pork Salteña Is a Soup-Dumpling-esque Marvel
The Bolivian-American brothers behind TurnStyle’s Bolivian Llama Party pop-up consider the salteña the xiao long bao of South America.Here’s What to Expect When Alinea Reopens
Ham hanging from the ceiling, and plates that look like they float.Raccoon Lodge Closing on June 30
Another bar named Raccoon Saloon might open nearby, but it doesn't appear to be from the same people.Starbucks’s Plan to ‘Revitalize’ Ferguson Might Actually Work
The company did an impressive job hiring residents and partnering with local businesses.Pizza Inside a Delivery Box Made of Pizza Changes Everything
Thank you, Vinnie's Pizzeria.