Picking up a Baltimore Sun article about obnoxious office eaters (the types who stink up the place with “fermented fish soaked in fish on reheated fish”), Chow takes the time to outline a dozen no-nos (fishy stuff, food that causes heartburn, food with lots of vinegar, food you have to slurp or that gets all over the place, microwave popcorn, and “anything you have to eat in a sensual manner”). They forget one thing — Big Macs! Even if you haven’t eaten one in ten years, the smell of one in an office sets off deeply buried family road-trip cravings. Anyhoo, why not avoid these dilemmas altogether: According to the Post, a growing number of New Yorkers are actually, like, leaving the office for lunch.
The American Dietetic Association says that 75 percent of office workers eat lunch at their desks up to two or three times a week — in New York, of course, we’re lucky if we remember to eat lunch at all. (This is why we’re seriously considering hiring a tiffin wallah service to just bring us whatever.) The problem is so bad that some guy started a website, Take Back Your Lunch, where you can sign a pledge to spend your lunch hour doing something relaxing and civilized — like standing in line at Shake Shack. Now where’s Chow’s guide to the booze that shouldn’t be on your breath when you get back to the office?