Thought assault with a hamburger was weird? In Bay Ridge, a man told a traffic agent that he wouldn’t move his car away from a fire hydrant until he was done eating his pizza. When the meter maid started writing a ticket, the man saw red (sauce) and threw a slice at the city employee. No quicker way to go from a slice joint to the joint. The Post also reports a bathroom assault at Sheepshead Bay’s El Greco diner.