Magnolia Bakery is now selling a cupcake inspired by Carrie Bradshaw: vanilla with pink buttercream frosting. They’ll probably sell 5,000 of them a day, unless we do one, or all, of the following to contain them.
1. “Top kill” the cupcakes by pumping cement and mud into them.
2. Employ “jump shot” method of injecting rubber scraps into the cupcakes.
3. Lower a 40-foot steel box over the cupcakes.
4. Use remote-controlled vehicles to disable the cupcakes.
5. Siphon the cupcakes through a giant funnel.
6. Employ out-of-work shrimp fishermen to place containment booms around the cupcakes.
7. Use suction skimmers to suck the cupcakes into storage tanks.
8. Have robots spray dispersant all over the cupcakes until they break into harmless droplets.
9. Flood the cupcakes until they float away.
10. Employ biological agents to hasten the cupcakes’ biodegradation.
11. Set fires to burn off the cupcakes.
12. Use gelling agents to turn the cupcakes into harmless rubber.
13. Just let weather and microbes break down the cupcakes.
14. Wash the cupcakes away with pressure hoses.
15. Use “scare tactics” such as propane “scare-cans” to keep tourists away from the cupcakes.
Of course, these are just the conventional methods. If you have any out-of-the-box solutions, please leave them in the comments.