Blechtacular

And Now, a Sandwich Stuffed With Cheesesteak, Cheese Sticks, Chicken Fingers, and Fries

Photo: Daniel Maurer

With the Beard Awards upon us, we’ve been focused with laser-beam intensity on the crème de la crème. Now let’s ponder the crème de la orange cream soda by taking a brief detour to the Stewart’s Drive-In of East Brunswick, New Jersey. It’s there that we recently encountered a menu of “Rutger’s Specials.” The New Brunswick grease trucks are a celebrated phenomenon, but you may not know that just like you can get clam strips and other local specialties at Stewart’s in Cape Cod, you can score “fat” sandwiches (the infamous subs overloaded with endlessly varying combos of drunk food, but always French fries because that’s how New Jersey does) at this particular Stewart’s. That’s because it’s operated by the owner of the Mister C’s grease truck.

Shown above is the Fat Nights — a sumptuously soggy combination of cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, and French fries with marinara sauce. Stewart’s is a drive-in, so rest assured you can eat it in your car, with your mounting shame fogging up the windows. Take a look at the complete fat-sandwich menu below and ponder whether your next Jersey road trip will take you here, or to the newish Smashburger, or to both.

FAT CAT - cheeseburgers, French fries, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onions

FAT SAM - cheesesteak, grilled chicken, French fries, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onions

FAT MOON - chicken fingers, bacon, egg, French fries, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onion

FAT MOM - cheesesteak, bacon, egg, French fries, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onion

FAT SAL - 2 chicken fingers, 2 mozzarella sticks, French fries, and marinara sauce

FAT ELVIS - gyro meat, mozzarella sticks, French fries, white sauce, hot sauce, lettuce, tomato and onions

CHICKEN FAT CAT - Grilled chicken with cheese, French fries, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onions

FAT DAD - cheesesteak, gyro meat, French fries, white sauce, hot sauce, lettuce, ketchup, tomato and onions

FAT NIGHTS - cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, French fries, and marinara sauce

FAT TONNES - grilled chicken, cheese, jalapeno peppers, French fries, bbq sauce, lettuce, tomato, and onions

STEWART’S FAT CAT - cheeseburger, gyro, French fries, white sauce, hot sauce, ketchup, mayo, lettuce

VEGGIE BURGER FAT CAT - veggie burger with cheese, French fries, ketchup, mayo, lettuce, tomato and onion

TURKEY BURGER FAT CAR - 2 turkey burgers with cheese, French fries, ketchup, mayo, lettuce, onion and tomato

VEGGIE INDIAN - falafel, mozzarella sticks, French fries, white sauce, hot sauce, lettuce, tomato and onions

FAT MOUTH - chicken fingers, jalapeno peppers, French fries, mozzarella sticks, mayo, ketchup, lettuce, tomato and onions

FAT BEE - cheesesteak, chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, mayo, lettuce, ketchup, French fries, lettuce, tomato and onions

Stewart’s Drive-In, 59 Main St., nr. Garfield Ave.; East Brunswick, N.J.; 732-251-4030‎

And Now, a Sandwich Stuffed With Cheesesteak, Cheese Sticks, Chicken Fingers,