Five Millionth Subway Set to Open in Manhattan

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Photo: Daniel Maurer

Congratulations, Subway thats OPENING SOON on Allen and Delancey, just four blocks from the Subway that recently opened on Grand and Ludlow and a handful of blocks from the one that recently opened at Bowery and Great Jones: You are the 5 millionth Subway in Manhattan! Youve won our coveted Chain in the Ass award, for being a thorn in the side of all New Yorkers who want to live in a city thats free of terrible sandwiches at every turn. Come collect your reward! And consolation prize goes to the Donut Connection and U Sub combo store at East 16th Street and Avenue U, in the Homecrest neighborhood of Brooklyn. For its admirable attempt to capitalize on the ubiquity of both Dunkin Donuts and Subway! May you live long and not become an actual DD-Subway anytime soon.