Sure, the “breaded chicken topped with chorizo, grilled hot dog, bacon, and two kinds of cheese” that Serious Eats discovered today at Sunset Park's Don Pepe is kind of insane, but venture out to Newark's Ironbound and you'll find something possibly even more nuts at a late-night Brazilian café called Altas Horas. Among the many lanches sold there, the Tudo (Everything) consists of a bun containing a sirloin-steak cutlet, a chicken cutlet, a hamburger patty, melted mozzarella cheese, a fried egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato, corn, mayo, and thin-cut fries.
That's right, the fries are inside of the sandwich, which is served in a tiny plastic bag to make sure the steak juice and corn kernels don’t drip all over the place. Sure, the current issue of Food Network Magazine posits that topping hamburger patties with other meats (pulled pork in the case of Daniel Boulud's Piggie, seared foie gras in the case of Jose Garces's Whiskey King burger, and lobster meat in the case of one of Hubert Keller's burgers) is the hot new trend, but this might just be overkill. Despite the fact that the Tudo is almost physically impossible to get into your mouth, it doesn’t come with a fork and knife. And yet somehow it didn’t disintegrate on us when we knocked it down, which is testimony to its perfect construction. It wasn't bad, either.
Anyway, speaking of blechtacular sammies, We Heart New York says it was recently served the fabled Luther burger (you know, a bacon burger between doughnuts) at Tipsy Parson. However, a receptionist there told us “we don’t serve that,” so call ahead before going there with your heart set on it.