Earlier today we received word that Domino’s had reached the $1 billion mark in online orders (probably owing to food bloggers like this one, this one, this one, and all the others who taste-tested the new recipe). Shortly before the Super Bowl alone, Americans were ordering 1,000 pies per minute via the Pizza Tracker (which now features online games like mini-golf!). Something about these numbers at once awed and depressed us — like when you see World War II footage of artillery rolling down the assembly line and you can’t help but think about all the women and children they’ll claim as victims, except here it’s gut bombs instead of real bombs.
Then we got word that Papa John’s (the competitor Domino’s went up against first in court, then in a new ad campaign, and also in a Slice taste-test) is selling the pie you see here, in case you’re too lazy to get dressed up for White Castle on the 14th.
This Valentine’s Day, give your special someone heart-shaped heartburn!