Sometimes a restaurant does something so great (or so poorly) that you are literally at a loss for words to describe it. Then there are the times that everybody else wishes you were at such a loss. That might be the case at The Bagel, where Chicago Gluttons wants you to "punch yourself in the face" with the matzo ball soup. The matzo balls are as "big as Oprah’s fist," and the broth "tastes like The Colonel’s bathwater (that’s a good thing)," but most importantly, the texture: "The texture is impossbly soft, like eating one of the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man’s testicles (also a good thing.)" Sometimes you just have to go there.
Shalom Motherfuckers! [Chicago Gluttons]