Kuban and Cuozzo Engage in Pizza and Burger Blasphemy

By
Don't hold the anchovies! Photo: Hannah Whitaker/New York Magazine

With the pizza and burger trends still going strong, a couple of food writers are saying “basta!” In the Post, Steve Cuozzo decides that the much ballyhooed Bill’s burger isn’t his favorite in the meatpacking district, much less the city (out of eleven burgers he tries in the MPD, he likes the Standard Grill’s best, and Bistro Chat Noir is his fave citywide), but he points out that the debate is kind of moot, since “Burgers change with the wind even at the same place. The closest thing to a predictable one is the awful articles of McDonald’s and its ilk.” Damn you, Cuozz! How dare you try to quash our next five-million “best burger” conversations. They’re all we have! Meanwhile, on the pizza front, Adam Kuban is making an even bolder statement: “Margherita pizzas are just plain ol' boring.”

When Kuban recently pondered West Coast VPN-style pizzerias (i.e., ones that adhere to the rules of the Verace Pizza Napoletana Association) and found them blurring together, he decided that a Neapolitan Margherita can only be so good. Pointing out that the mozzarella is there mainly for creaminess, he writes, “If you accept that the cheese is going to be mild-flavored (or, at worst, bland) and that the sauce will vary little from place to place, that leaves you only with the crust to differentiate one Neapolitan Margherita pizza from another.” He ends up “seriously questioning the deliciousness of Neapolitan Margherita pies in general” and decides that, contrary to his previous aversion to toppings, they actually are “a godsend for otherwise so-so pies and make great ones ridiculously awesome.” You don’t say? Next thing you know, Scott Conant will be coming to terms with red onions.

Who’s your patty? [NYP]
In Which I Find Margherita Pizzas Boring [Slice]