Jane Ballroom Neighbor Begs Olsen Twins for Help

Getty Images
Getty Images

Not only have the Jane Street Hotel neighbors now hired a PR rep in addition to the lawyer we mentioned before, but one of them, sick of the “broken beer bottles, cigarette butts — and the occasional used condom” (or so relates Andrea Peyser), has appealed to the Olsen twins, of all people.

Dear Mary-Kate and Ashley … As the poster girls for the newest hip spot in NYC, the Jane Hotel, I thought I should write you both on behalf of all the small children here in the neighborhood who have not been sleeping since the club opened. They thank you for allowing them to stay up past their bedtime …”

Meanwhile, the satirical newsletter WWWWD has a “report” from the hot spot up the street, the Boom Boom Room:

On the last night of Fashion Week, I spotted Lindsay Lohan and her beautiful new lips. She kept spilling some weird powder on the table and smelling it each time (I bet it was Dior’s Luminous Translucent Poudre — ugh! Smells sooo good! Want!) The smart and sassy Candy Pratts Price joined her in between Jager shots. In the other corner, famed photographers Mert Alas & Marcus Piggott were play-fighting and throwing glitter at each other, looking totally in love. There were also the boys of Proenza Schouler, sitting at opposite tables. They kept chucking ice at each other’s date, but all four ended up going to the bathroom at the same time and came back looking so happy. Guess they worked that out! Yay!

It’s official — nightlife is back!