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Alas, Michael Psilakis’s Crap-Beer Program Isn’t Crappy Enough

Alas, Michael Psilakis’s Crap-Beer Program Isn’t Crappy Enough

Photo: iStockphoto.com

Michael Psilakis keeps getting more and more pedestrian — literally, given that he tells Fork in the Road he wants to open a Greek street cart by the end of the year. Don’t hold your breath for that (reps tell Midtown Lunch “there are no immediate plans”), but take solace, everyman: We’re told Psilakis has just launched his “brown bag collection” at Gus & Gabriel, featuring beers such as Natty Light and malt bevies such as Smirnoff Ice. Actually, after getting our hands on the list (below), we’re convinced it doesn’t go nearly far enough — Genny and Mickey’s Big Mouth Malt are okay, sure, but commonplace trucker piss like Coors Light, Corona, Foster's, and Tecate just isn’t ironic enough! Why couldn’t Psilakis “take you by surprise” by serving Cisco?

In fact, why not have a whole wine list consisting of Night Train, Thunderbird, Mad Dog 20/20, etc., and then a malt-liquor list including King Cobra, Laser, Country Club, Schlitz Red Bull (not to be confused with the energy drink), etc.? Then another section for Boone’s Farm, Bartles & James, etc.? Any other recommendations? (Keep in mind, Zima and Sparks have been discontinued.) Plead for them in the comments — this may be your only chance to get a chef of Michael Psilakis’s caliber to add something to the menu. Personally, we wouldn’t really drink any of this stuff, but we’d love the man for sparing us the usual $3 PBR cliché by bringing Old Style or even Hamm’s to New York.

The Brown Bag Collection

Coors Light 12oz $5
Corona 24oz $6
Fosters 24oz $5
Genny 12oz $4
Mickey’s Big Mouth Malt 40oz $4
Miller High Life 16oz $5
Natty Light 12oz $3.50
Olde English 800 40oz $5
Smirnoff Ice 12oz $4.50
Tecate 12oz $4

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