We received almost 100 entries for our Julie & Julia contest, and many of them showed the good humor and wide range of knowledge that we’ve come to expect from our readers. Congratulations to our winner, Danielle Stein, whose reasoning made her choices all the more convincing. Read her complete entry below, but first enjoy some honorary mentions.
Fastest Way to Lose the Contest: Begin your entry with, “Bitch, please.”
Imagery That Made Us Giggle: “Bruce Villanch (Mario Batali)”
Impeccable Logic: “Rachel Ray — Valerie Bertinelli. If we can turn Brad Pitt into a BABY for God’s sake we can all handle a female actress playing a younger person. It’s 2009!!!”
Most Honest Reason — Among Many — for Tom Hanks to Play Dan Barber: “Both have large heads.”
Dan Barber: Anthony Rapp — he has the angular face, looks great in glasses, and has the ability to simultaneously exude wholesome earnestness and a kind of virtuous subversiveness.
Maro Batali: I’m tempted to nominate Mark Holton — the heavy-set redhead on the basketball team in Teen Wolf and, more importantly, devious next door neighbor Francis Buxton in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, where he showed he had the sort of mischievous glimmer in his eye that could allow him to nail Mario — but I actually think Jack Black would do a bang up job in this role.
Anthony Bourdain: Since Elliott Gould isn’t 20 years younger, and Jeffrey Epstein isn’t a professional actor, it has to be Jeff Goldblum, who not only resembles Bourdain in his coloring, full lips, and intense gaze, but who, like Bourdain, can look deceivingly normal and average, while possessing penchants for the odd and exotic.
Tom Colicchio: The bald-headedness, likability factor and poorly concealed goofiness of Bruce Willis would make him a good Tom.
Padma Lakshmi: Freida Pinto — it’s too obvious, yes, but Pinto’s beauty is one of the few on the silver screen right now to rival Lakshmi’s, plus Pinto’s extra-marital affair with her younger costar proves she’s saucy enough for the role.
Wylie Dufresne: After years of playing the left-brained Dr. Mark Green, Anthony Edwards would rock the opportunity to grow his
(minimal) hair long and channel the kooky creativity he certainly possesses — after all, he was “Stoner Bud” in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.
Lidia Bastianich: Tovah Feldshuh would capitalize on the fact that, aesthetically and aurally at least, there is only the smallest of gaps between Jewish mothers and Italian mothers.
Rachel Ray: It’s gotta be Ginnifer Goodwin — there’s more than a passing resemblance between the two, plus Goodwin has already nailed bubbly and irritating in He’s Just Not That Into You and nails overextended, down-to-earth, woman in need of 30-minute dinner recipes in Big Love.
Danny Meyer: Ben Stiller — like Meyer, he walks the line between fit-and-tanned cool guy and slightly nerdy, totally relatable Jew.
Eric Ripert: Sacha Baron Cohen, because he’s great with exaggerated accents, is a large, looming presence with oversized-yet-attractive features (heavy eyebrows, prominent nose, good lips), and knows how to play a confident but unassuming, endearing character.