A while back, a spy at the Park Slope Food Coop told us that Adrian Grenier was on the roll of members. We figured there was no way he still worked there (after all, how could a busy actor and ladies' man stand a chance against the unforgiving “miss one shift, make up two” policy?), but a tweet picked up by Gawker confirms that Vinny Chase is indeed still stocking bulk quinoa. Maybe he’s on the Future Time Off Program that’s described in one ex-member’s notorious piece about quitting the Coop? We asked our Coop source if she had seen Vinny in action lately and she said no — “I quit that joint. I couldn’t hack it. I’d rather overpay for my cheese.” Of course, we then asked her for some war stories, and here’s what we got.
Once when I was working in the office, this guy had a total meltdown because he arrived for the yogurt-container recycling five minutes late in a rainstorm and they wouldn't take his No. 5 plastics, though they were still there packing up others' recyclables. The office’s response was, there are rules for a reason and he didn’t get there in time, but he wouldn’t let it go. And then he accused them of upsetting his 5-year-old son. But my favorite was the crazy guy who volunteered in the office and would rant the whole time that it was like Stalin’s Russia. He hated the Coop and would never shop there, but had to do work shifts because his wife was a member.
Poor guy. If you have something to say in the Coop’s defense, or if you’re an ex-member yourself, please do chime in.