Alan Richman has kept silent about the perceived New York omissions from his list of the 25 best pies in the country, but he explains his reasoning today on Forked. Di Fara underwhelmed because “DeMarco pours on the oil, way too much. The crust on the square pie was rich and heavy; when topped with cheese, tomato sauce, and broccoli rabe, it was enormously filling, like a gooey Italian Sunday dinner on bread.” Grimaldi’s? “The oven is just right, but the crusts are merely okay — they have a fresh, bready smell, but to me they’re a little too thick and slightly too soft, somewhat undercooked.” Patsy’s? “The pies are so neutral that I found it impossible to get the friends I brought with me to agree on which ones they liked.” One of our favorite pizzeria insults, however, hails from Time Out’s forthcoming list. “They say that pizza is like sex: Even when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good. Such is not the case at Spunto.” Like Jimmy Fallon in our own new-pizza tour, the writer compares the pie crust to a cracker. Let’s hope they don’t get kicked out, too.