Water Taxi Beach SSS was erected under Grub Street’s watchful eye, but we’ve just discovered a sandstravaganza that nobody knows about, first of all because it’s only a couple of days old, and also because it’s hidden behind the obscure bar (the Suffolk) in the CSV Cultural Center. Proprietor Drew R. Figueroa tells us he poured a little less than 5,000 pounds of sand (including two bags shipped over from Greece) over 700 square feet of the former public school’s back lot, and added nine chaise lounges to make it a proper escape. We’re not going to lie — with a parking lot abutting the sand box, this is to Water Taxi Beach what, well, Water Taxi Beach is to Coney Island. But tourist factor? Zero. With only a beer-and-wine license in effect, you’ll have to settle for sangria instead of piña coladas, but there will be barbecues. Hours seem to depend on Figueroa’s mood, but the patio is theoretically open every day from noon till midnight and a little later on weekends. And the pergola is just the start of it — Figueroa tells us he plans to install an outdoor shower, so bring the bikinis!
The Suffolk, 107 Suffolk St., nr. Rivington St.; 212-982-5008