spoofs

El Baño Says Good-bye to All That (Wait, All What?)

El Baño Says Good-bye to All That (Wait, All What?)

Sure, the Plumm closed today, but who really cares besides the people to whom the club is said to owe money? The real news is that El Baño, a boîte so exclusive you probably never even set foot in it (well, also it never really existed) has announced its shuttering via a message on its website. Here’s the heartrending good-bye.

Management regrets to inform you that El Bano is closed as of today. We had some amazing times at the club, but we are closing because there is no money in New York anymore. El Bano was never started to make money, we are already far too rich to care about that. It was started to get beautiful, like minded people, together in an ultra exclusive atmosphere. The fact of the matter is, the money that used to run this city has evaporated and no one can afford to party at a level management requires. If you're not buying bottles of champagne, what are you doing? As for us, we will be somewhere on a beach, waiting this whole thing out. If you would like to view our old site click here.


And there you have it: Times are so tough that even clubs with minimal overhead (i.e. just a satirical website to maintain) can’t hack it …

Earlier: Maybe-Fake Club El Baño Gets Into Pissing Match With Definitely-Fake Club El Evator

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