Quiznos has deployed edgy ads before (remember the spongmonkeys?), but now they’re getting downright pervy. The big Q is whipping out its “toasty torpedoes,” a variety of baguette-inspired $4 sammies meant to be eaten out of a paper sleeve. Since BK saw fit to have chicks go limp for “burger shots,” Quiznos figured why not have two dudes (one of them a HAL 9000–esque oven) milk the over-twelve-inchers for all they're worth. Now it’s on McDonald’s to get even scuzzier when they introduce those new Big Macs wraps.