Cupcake Pushers Seek to Ruin Super Bowl for Everybody

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Its rather shocking, but during this time when we all must join together as a nation and celebrate the ideals upon which this great country was built, Kyotofu is throwing an antiSuper Bowl party. Thats right, theyre not above celebrating the groupthink nightmare that is Valentines Day with a $35 prix fixe (indeed theyre flying in fresh strawberries from Fukuoka, just so they can dip them in chocolate!), but what will this fine establishment be doing on Super Sunday, from 5:30 p.m. onward? Two-for-one cocktails, half-priced sake, dessert specials, and (heres where our head explodes) free cupcakes. Plus, a screening of Tampopo.

Magnolia Bakery, meanwhile, is taking a decidedly less antagonistic approach starting this weekend, theyll be selling vanilla and chocolate cupcakes that will be decorated in team colors, with a choice of football, Championship Ring, or XLIII imagery. You can even order them for delivery if you call two days in advance. With any luck well be far, far away from this silliness on Sunday ideally, pounding super dogs at Pittsburghs hallowed Dirty O.