Can’t Stand Kids? Don’t Eat Here!

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Photo: Gawker Shop

After debating tableside breastfeeding, the “Breeder vs. Baller” column at Fucked in Park Slope now addresses that old chestnut — kids in Park Slope restaurants. Funny enough, it’s the mom who lays down the expletive-ridden rant, about the childless couple next to her. Though she admits her tykes can sometimes be horrendous, their behavior on this occasion was a mild 6 out of 10, yet the neighboring couple “gave us BURNING stares, were shaking their heads, and just looked utterly disgusted the entire time,” until finally they departed with the words “spare the rod, spoil the child!” Meanwhile, the Baller concedes you shouldn’t go to places like Dizzy’s if you hate kids, and helpfully provides a list of other restaurants to be avoided at all costs.

* Pizza Plus
* Dizzy’s
* Bonnie's Grill
* Purity Diner
* Aunt Suzie’s
* Two Boots
* Red Hot II
* Grand Canyon
* Yamato
* Tutta Pasta
* Rancho Alegre
* Joe's Pizza
* Amin
* La Taqueria (go to La Taq now!)
* Uncle Moe’s

Most of these places we’re happy to steer clear of, anyway— minus maybe Bonnie’s Grill. But this list doesn’t go far enough. What about the places overrun by packs of tween skate brats? Smiling Pizza, for instance? And anyone have non–Park Slope additions?

BREEDER vs. BALLER: Your Kid's Fork Is In My Motherfucking Soup: Restaurant Wars [Fucked in Park Slope]