The economy is in the tank, which means that we’ll be hearing about hamburgers and other comfort foods from now until Wall Street bonuses are once again plentiful. Why, today alone brings plenty of burger business. Downtown, Frank Bruni found Delicatessen’s cheeseburger spring rolls innovative, but “vacuously oily,” which is the vibe one gets from much of Soho’s nightlife these days. Meanwhile, Steve Cuozzo took down Shake Shack (along with Corner Bistro and Burger Joint) in a sidebar on New York’s most overrated burgers; hours later, AHT’s Adam Kuban rushed to its defense. In short: Kuban thinks the Shack is worth an epic wait, the Cuozz does not. Cue beefy drama! There are quicker routes to a Shack burger, though. The Shake Shack’s forthcoming Upper West Side branch, currently slated for a mid-October opening, will have a private dining room available for rental. Now who wants to rent it out for Adam and Steve so they can reach a consensus?